Cruising through the Tennessee countryside with my cousin, I spotted some roadside art:
“Art?” you say. “Those are hay bales. That’s not art. That’s farming.”
(And here’s where you assume I’ll teach you how farming is artistic.)
(Wrong — At least the part about me teaching you anything. Maybe it is artistic… Not why we’re here.*)
This is where I point out that those hay bales are probably a hoax.
ROUND hay bales? Please. Everyone knows, hay bales should be square. (And smaller — who’s gonna lift a 1,500lb hay bale**? What kind of a workout is that?) I mean, come on. Can you imagine the Muppets having a hoedown on round hay bales? (Ludicrous!) Could you build a proper haunted house corridor out of square hay bales? (I said “proper.” No gaps!) Is your grandmother going to shimmy up one of those giant, round hay bales to take her seat at your rustic wedding? (Not mine!)
What’s more, don’t even get me started on square meals for livestock. Sorry… #HayBaleHumor
Anyway, I wanted to get a closer, better shot. As I ventured into the tall grass, Cousin Billy*** called out, “Warning, there might be ticks!”
“Ha ha. Very funny.”
And then I considered: Maybe it’s not a joke.
(*Okay, okay, I confess, you got me, farming IS artistic. That’s totally why we’re here. Aren’t they just so…? Quaint? Country chic? What word would YOU use?)
(**I looked it up. They range from 450 to 1,700lbs. Heh heh. Get it? “Range?” #HBH)
(***Not his real name, but “Cousin Billy” did ask to be called that.)
Further roadside art:
Goldwell Open Air Museum (Don’t miss this one, art lovers)