Hello Campfire Tale Heads! Long time no tree. So I'm working in New Orleans and I'd been considering what I wanted for my first post after a long absence from posting and I found the perfect mural I wanted to show you, and then... Well, then things went a little Goldilocks-ian, because my first photo … Continue reading Goldilocks and the Three Murals
Take care of a tree, and you will eat its fruit. ~ Proverbs 27:18a CEV So... Who wants to taste the rainbow?
Have you heard a parent or teacher start counting down to warn children to do as they are told? Once they reach zero, there will be consequences! Here's my version, to get myself going. "And in tree... two... one..."
Life knocking you flat? Feel you've lost your gloss? Things not going exactly as you please? Here's what you do: Disguise yourself as Bob Ross, Then go and paint some happy little trees. Everyone knows a happy little tree Will embellish a happy little scene. And seen at a frightfully good party, You might relish … Continue reading The Joy of Halloween
I started a poem about Alcatraz And then... "What rhymes with Alcatraz? Sassafras? Razzmatazz? All that jazz?" I started a poem about pineapple And, while that's easier to rhyme, I grapple Instead with meaning, and another surprise: Too many eyes. "Write us a poem! Please?" I hear your pleas. So we're back to our old … Continue reading False Starts, Sad End
In Jurrassic Park, tremors in a cup of water signal the approach of a T-Rex. When I stepped from the shower this morning, the water in my toilet bowl sloshed gently side to side. Uh-oh, I thought. That's either an earthquake, or the wind is shaking my entire building. I didn't feel an earthquake in … Continue reading Morning Warning
"Are you a sore loser?" "Can't be. I never lose." "You lost the election — " "Wrong. No. Uh-uh. Fake news." "People died. Staff resigned. They muzzled your Twitter. The Senate's rejection — " "Quitter, quitter, quitter." "Last words? Any regrets?" "I scorn what that imputes. Although, on reflection — I'd put down deeper roots." … Continue reading Stump Speech: Exit Interview
Vote for me! I'm not old, I'm classic — What? When? Who won? Really, me? Gee whiz. That's, that's, that's... Well, son of a gun. I guess we're done here — Why not? Of course tree will. No shame. "Never take responsibility. Never take blame." Give me money! I'm raising funds before we proceed, Apparently … Continue reading Stump Speech: Giving Shade, Not Throwing It
Vote for me! Forget those other stumps. Commies! Reds! Lobotomized chumps! A copse of carbon flatheads! They can't say, "Ain't nobody never cut me down." (mocking voice) "Waahh! Help me!! I need another crown!" Sure, I'm twisted, hollow, partially decomposed. So what? There you have it. That's me, fully disclosed. In life, in elections, I've … Continue reading Stump Speech: Deride and Conquer