A quick note: Thank you for the camping invite. I can't come. Wish I could. (Although, I still might.) I'm not only scared of the COVID bathrooms, Here's my list: Lyme Disease, poisonous mushrooms, Drowning, getting lost, falling over a cliff Or in a campfire while breathing a whiff. Also, bears. Snakes. Bigfoot. Hillbillies. Skunk … Continue reading Camping R.S.V.P. (Really Scared, Visiting Promptly)
Humor
S’moredom
Remember how the Smurfs insert the word "Smurf" into everything like, "That's smurf-tastic!" or "You're smurfing!"? Yeah, me neither. However, if you're starting to think Campfire Tales is getting a little "smurfed up" with the s'mores references, all I can say is, "I'm s'more-y." I made this Coca-Cola Cake because the accompanying photo looked delicious, … Continue reading S’moredom
S’more for You & Me
As a child, I would have eagerly pulled the arms off my Stretch Armstrong in exchange for a s'more. (OK, so maybe I pulled his arms off for no reason, and then let him ooze to death into the carpet under my bed -- what's it to you, Judge E. Pants?) As an adult, I … Continue reading S’more for You & Me
Crater, Crater, Now or Later?
“Thank you for visiting your national park.” We’re open! (Except for boat tours on the lake. No Visitor Centers. Plus, we hid the shark.) Oops, did it sound like “full access?” My mistake… “Phased Reopening,” means: No Pinnacles Road Or East Rim Drive. Only guests eat at the Lodge. No Ranger Programs. Some hiking trails … Continue reading Crater, Crater, Now or Later?
Cat Tale
Remember Smokey the Bear and Woodsy Owl? I bet you do! I also bet you didn't know they were college roommates.* Even less known is the story of their mysterious third roommate, Archibald Sebastian Persian, whom they affectionately nicknamed, "Scruffy." Ironically, Scruffy (who was anything but) made his fortune as a model/actor, and yet there … Continue reading Cat Tale
Last Minute Decorations
Holiday cards sent? Check! (unfortunately, that took all week to accomplish) I only have a little time to put up a few decorations. How about a tree? ...or two? Done! Hmm, what now? Maybe some whimsical decorations? Something serene and beautiful? Or both? Done! What's missing? Oh yeah! Victorian carolers and a Nutcracker! Done and … Continue reading Last Minute Decorations
Keep Campfire Tales Weird!
"Why did so many people call you weird?" my mother asked, having read the comments written in my 8th Grade yearbook. Um... because I was? Especially during the 8th Grade. I'll spare you a full re-creation of the conversation(s) that followed, as it/they went on for weeks, and as I never managed to supply my … Continue reading Keep Campfire Tales Weird!
Mixed Messages 2
OK, so what have we here? A sign claiming perfection that misspells "perfect." A near-impossible challenging speed limit for a car. I love the "1/2." A man both driving his car and blowing his trumpet. (Photo taken at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the playing continued.) The gloomiest "Sunny Lane" ever. (Oh, and … Continue reading Mixed Messages 2
Turkeys Give Thanks
Turkeys gobble, "Thanks!" (mainly to vegans), While vegans say, "Thanks for all the seeds, man." Seeds sprout their thanks for water, soil and light. Lights blink thanks for an evening rest to Night. Night winks, "Thanks for the tickles!" to owls and bats. Owls hoot their thanks for plump and juicy rats. Rats squeak thanks … Continue reading Turkeys Give Thanks
Cabin Fever
A friend of mine is suffering from Seasonal Dysphoria. That's not a medically recognized disease, mainly because I just made it up. That's what the internet is for — fake medical information — amIright? Essentially, my friend's body is in one season and her mind is in another. Wait, hold on, it's that her house … Continue reading Cabin Fever
