Dear Weird Al, Do you know what everyone can relate to, but nobody has ever written a song about? Cake fails. Do you know what solves almost all cake fails? Whipping cream. Just in case you wanted to right this wrong and write that song, here is some inspiration, by way of Coldplay's, "Fix You." … Continue reading Fix Goo
Humor
Wind Cave: You First, Alice
Do you ever hear someone say something like, "You can eat the stalk of rhubarb, but the leaves are poison," and you ask yourself, "Who was the second fool to try rhubarb?" Or, "I hated that movie the first time I watched it." I can only shake my head when I hear that. "Um... so … Continue reading Wind Cave: You First, Alice
Valley of Fire: Mouse’s Tank Trail
There are already so many sites and breakdowns about Mouse's Tank trail. What can I add? Is it really a 30 minute hike? Yes. Don't take pictures. Don't explore off the trail. Don't admire the many petroglyphs. You can be back in the car in 30 minutes! Is it worth it? No. You might get … Continue reading Valley of Fire: Mouse’s Tank Trail
Campsite Bandit
Many years ago, I crawled out of my tent to the sounds of chirping birds, glanced around the campsite, and discovered a raccoon had visited in the night. Among much evidence of the culprit's identity, the most telling piece proved to be the adorable paw print left on top of a soft cooler. I remembered … Continue reading Campsite Bandit
False Starts, Sad End
I started a poem about Alcatraz And then... "What rhymes with Alcatraz? Sassafras? Razzmatazz? All that jazz?" I started a poem about pineapple And, while that's easier to rhyme, I grapple Instead with meaning, and another surprise: Too many eyes. "Write us a poem! Please?" I hear your pleas. So we're back to our old … Continue reading False Starts, Sad End
The Real Think vs The Real Thing
Forecasting a hectic day for today, last night I brewed a pot of coffee and filled my ice trays, then chilled both before going to bed, a ritual I occasionally practice in order to wake up to iced coffee.*** The smell of that coffee, though... Two hours later, still tossing and turning in bed, bone-weary … Continue reading The Real Think vs The Real Thing
Stump Speech: Exit Interview
"Are you a sore loser?" "Can't be. I never lose." "You lost the election — " "Wrong. No. Uh-uh. Fake news." "People died. Staff resigned. They muzzled your Twitter. The Senate's rejection — " "Quitter, quitter, quitter." "Last words? Any regrets?" "I scorn what that imputes. Although, on reflection — I'd put down deeper roots." … Continue reading Stump Speech: Exit Interview
Perfection’s Rough Draft
One of my few accomplishments during the quarantining last year (besides an epic four part poem about dust, and five poems about national park grief) involved creating a Halloween costume, buying all the parts, fitting it into a perfect storage container, and even labelling it. Then I put it in my closet, the quarantine never … Continue reading Perfection’s Rough Draft
Starting the New Year Right
Last night they fired the starting gun On the year Twenty-Twenty-One. Now with Twenty-Twenty a ghost, Raise your glass and let’s make a toast! May the year ahead soon restore Things ruined by the year before. May we not need to cry, "Undo!" Again in Twenty-Twenty-Two. ~ Camp Host Chad "Cheers!" "Release the balloons!"
A Dream and a Prayer
For those of you who celebrate this holiday, I offer this: Merry Christmas! And for everyone, no matter your beliefs, I offer this:
