Stump Speech: Deride and Conquer

Vote for me! Forget those other stumps. Commies! Reds! Lobotomized chumps! A copse of carbon flatheads! They can't say, "Ain't nobody never cut me down." (mocking voice) "Waahh! Help me!! I need another crown!" Sure, I'm twisted, hollow, partially decomposed. So what? There you have it. That's me, fully disclosed. In life, in elections, I've … Continue reading Stump Speech: Deride and Conquer

Five Stages of National Park Grief

Hello, Campfire Talesmen and Taleswomen! Our last shared post completed a series of five poems depicting the five stages of grief, as represented by National Parks awaiting our return. Yes, they rhyme. Denial = Crater Lake Anger = Lassen Volcanic Bargaining = Joshua Tree Depression = Death Valley Acceptance = Yosemite The final post, Yosemite, … Continue reading Five Stages of National Park Grief

Camping R.S.V.P. (Really Scared, Visiting Promptly)

A quick note: Thank you for the camping invite. I can't come. Wish I could. (Although, I still might.) I'm not only scared of the COVID bathrooms, Here's my list: Lyme Disease, poisonous mushrooms, Drowning, getting lost, falling over a cliff Or in a campfire while breathing a whiff. Also, bears. Snakes. Bigfoot. Hillbillies. Skunk … Continue reading Camping R.S.V.P. (Really Scared, Visiting Promptly)


Remember how the Smurfs insert the word "Smurf" into everything like, "That's smurf-tastic!" or "You're smurfing!"? Yeah, me neither. However, if you're starting to think Campfire Tales is getting a little "smurfed up" with the s'mores references, all I can say is, "I'm s'more-y." I made this Coca-Cola Cake because the accompanying photo looked delicious, … Continue reading S’moredom