"Are you a sore loser?" "Can't be. I never lose." "You lost the election — " "Wrong. No. Uh-uh. Fake news." "People died. Staff resigned. They muzzled your Twitter. The Senate's rejection — " "Quitter, quitter, quitter." "Last words? Any regrets?" "I scorn what that imputes. Although, on reflection — I'd put down deeper roots." … Continue reading Stump Speech: Exit Interview
2020 Election
Stump Speech: Giving Shade, Not Throwing It
Vote for me! I'm not old, I'm classic — What? When? Who won? Really, me? Gee whiz. That's, that's, that's... Well, son of a gun. I guess we're done here — Why not? Of course tree will. No shame. "Never take responsibility. Never take blame." Give me money! I'm raising funds before we proceed, Apparently … Continue reading Stump Speech: Giving Shade, Not Throwing It
Stump Speech: Deride and Conquer
Vote for me! Forget those other stumps. Commies! Reds! Lobotomized chumps! A copse of carbon flatheads! They can't say, "Ain't nobody never cut me down." (mocking voice) "Waahh! Help me!! I need another crown!" Sure, I'm twisted, hollow, partially decomposed. So what? There you have it. That's me, fully disclosed. In life, in elections, I've … Continue reading Stump Speech: Deride and Conquer
Campfire Tales 