Stump Speech: Giving Shade, Not Throwing It

Vote for me! I’m not old, I’m classic — What? When? Who won?

Really, me? Gee whiz. That’s, that’s, that’s… Well, son of a gun.

I guess we’re done here — Why not? Of course tree will. No shame.

“Never take responsibility. Never take blame.”

Give me money! I’m raising funds before we proceed,

Apparently you know who refuses to concede.

My mentor says, “If you win, be gracious. If you lose,

Be gracious. Never make excuses. Never accuse.”

~ “Shady” Stump (translated from Stumpish by Camp Host Chad)

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