Vote for me! Forget those other stumps. Commies! Reds!
Lobotomized chumps! A copse of carbon flatheads!
They can’t say, “Ain’t nobody never cut me down.”
(mocking voice) “Waahh! Help me!! I need another crown!”
Sure, I’m twisted, hollow, partially decomposed.
So what? There you have it. That’s me, fully disclosed.
In life, in elections, I’ve run, others hobbled.
In every exchange, others whispered, I squabbled.
~ “Squabbled” Stump (translated from Stumpish by Camp Host Chad)
Campfire Tales 